If you haven’t been following my blog (shame on you), you probably don’t know that my fiancé currently lives in Sweden while I’m in the good ol’ US of A. As anyone who’s been in a long distance relationship knows, being far apart for an extended period of time isn’t the easiest thing in the world. In the case of my fiancé and I, we spent three months living together. And when I say “living together” I mean we were inseparable. Now we’re in separate countries again. It sucks, but we’re making plans to be together again, of course.
Silver linings and all that good stuff.
When she and I first started dating, I had people ask me why I would go for someone who wasn’t living in the US. That’s some old school thinking right there. With power of something like the internet, why would you ever want to limit your pool of potential partners to people who live within a certain radius?
Now that I think about it, I know friends from New Jersey who used to refuse dating anyone from New York and that was just a 30 minute drive. Hilarity!
Anyway, I’m a big supporter of using the internet to meet people and maybe even finding that special someone. If you happen to achieve the latter, good for you! Some of you may be similar to me and found someone from another state, country, or continent. If so, check out this six-part series I’m doing called Long Distance Relationships (LDR) 101. Here are the following parts:
- Introduction (er… this article)
- Making Time
- Getting Sexy
- Getting Over Yourself
Alright, so let’s talk a little bit about long distance relationships. They’re basically the same as regular relationships except certain aspects that can cause issues are intensified. Well, they have a greater chance of being intensified to be exact. This is the very reason why LDRs need to have a strong foundation. Obviously all relationships should have this, but LDRs should emphasize this because that foundation lacks the physical aspect.
Many people in close distance relationships take physical closeness for granted. Hell, I did when I had them. I never thought about what it would be like to have to handle pretty much every single situation with communication. When you have someone physically close, you can ignore issues with things like outings and sex. The primary method of avoidance in LDRs is not speaking and we all know how well that does in any relationship.
One last thing to note before we sign off on this intro. There will never be a perfect relationship because people aren’t perfect. But I believe you can get infinitely close. The trick is to never settle. Make the effort to be better, not just maintain. Hold yourself and your relationship to a high standard and strive each day to get closer to that level you desire. If you settle for anything less, you run the risk of either stagnating or deteriorating.
I think long distance relationships offer couples the chance to discover each other in a way that conventional relationships can’t. Sure, connecting on something like a sexual level isn’t as easy, but you’re put in a situation where, if you’re both open and honest, you can truly get to know a person. Because all you have are words.
Yes, and video if you’re lucky.
What do you think about long distance relationships? Are you in one? Ever been in one? I’d be interested to know! And join me next time when I focus on communication.
Catch you in the next installment, party people.