Thought of the Day

Our Love/Hate Relationship with Confidence

The other day my homie sent me this video of a little girl standing on a sink, looking in the mirror and going on and on about how much she loves herself and her life. Homegirl was FEELING herself and it was awesome to see. Some days after, I was with a couple people talking about myself with music and, I’m not gonna front, I was in a good mood and was feeling myself. It wasn’t as well received even though I don’t make a habit of bragging about myself. After some reflection it became obvious to me that we have a love/hate relationship with confidence.

For a lot of my earlier life I was an insecure person. Sometimes I did an okay job of covering it up, but the cracks would show from time to time. I always felt like the perpetual underdog and I had a chip on my shoulder as a result. Over time, however, I learned to not let what other people think about me affect my self-worth and I became very confident in myself. Which isn’t a problem until I vocalize it…

So this is when I thought about that cute little blond girl who was going on and on about how much she loved her hair and her face and her great big house. I bet if someone told that girl she was being cocky and braggadocios, they’d be looked at as a dick. But when it comes from, say, a grown ass man who isn’t necessarily detailing his journey to finding self-confidence, the package isn’t nearly as endearing.

But is that the fault of the confident person or society teaching us over-humility?

I personally feel confidence and knowing one’s value is something everyone should have and no one should feel the need to censor themselves. My homegirl Fallon (shoutout!), for example, is a bad ass and she knows it. And she’s def not shy about it. I love that about her.

With all that being said, I also understand humility is a necessity as cockiness is definitely not a virtue. But who gets to draw the line between confidence and cockiness? Should we be telling each other to tuck our confidence away and shut up about it? Are we not supposed to have moments of feeling ourselves? Should confidence only be expressed non-verbally? I dunno… to me, confidence is self-love and I’m not gonna apologize for loving myself. And neither should you. As long as you don’t think you’re better than anyone, what does it matter? Still, I know not everyone thinks the same way so I’m still learning to navigate that line…

Peace out, party people.

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